big lies or lots of little ones
==
oh to me there is big diffrence
if they make up their tissue to you out of lots of little woven together lies, and make the fabric of our interactions threaded through with little pointless lies liek metallic thread in a gaudy dress
then they are projecting a deceptive THING at you and when you find out
you're not sure they
re who you love
whereas
when it is just one or two great big lies
told obviously to spare you pain or because they thought they would lose you (e.g. i murdered someone when I was 16
or
I had an affair and I really really wish I hadnt)
then they are usually going to appear to be
the same human
just one who tried to bury a mistake
And shouldn't have.

Beauty murders me.
Sometimes I want to
Bend down over a table
For it to rip my knickers down
And get stuck into me.
Other times beauty leans back
With legs spread
And I don’t know what to do
In virgin tremors.

Stop love. Stop love.
It hurts me to lie in its cuffs
With its gag in my mouth, biting down
Not wanting to ache but
Not wanting to stay bottled up.
Wanting to burst.

Maybe it is beauty to waste away
To lay waste to love
To lose even loss
To loosen with the lesson nothing matters
Only this.
Only this?
Only what?
My boiling point:
Beauty’s absolute zero.

lol bottom of my web window just said
runscript: false=true

york
like small winding leaning streets, a mash of poverty onto frippery in the shopfronts
with the skeleton of a medieval walled city jutting up through it
like the lower jaw of something prutting up through the new flesh it pierces