she was persuaded by the immense advertisement of life to believe in her own strength and deserving.

the multicoloured spectacle of sensations enraptured her until she realised that inside she had become utterly broke and, approaching the mirror one day, she saw a plastic seam running down her face and realised that, on her PVC undercarriage, there was an embossed stamp of manufacture.

she felt indebted.

i think i was surprised to find myself excited to graduate. but i was so upset about everything surrounding.

birthday last night at the rose. busy but weary.

exam panick is starting. the old semester postponed to its final hours ready to topple on top of me feeling.

when trying to imagine the nothingness of death (not that I do this often) I have resorted in the past to trying to remember how I felt during the 1960s or the first world war or the crusades. notbornyet = reverse death.

time one way though. so they say.

have been contemplating my future as a romance novelist. as your mouth drew near to mine i felt as if i had come to near to something warm and deleterious like lotus vapour making me forget in its heady aura of embers drawing into the warm invisible umbrage with a glow as if i myself had been exhaled: exhausted.

graduated on friday.

we are living within all these legalisms. all these practical fictions.
perhaps because we have to?
but not necessarily like this?
some work.